[November 16th] i think i was blind before i met you

[beyoncepadthai]

Overwhelmed doesn't quite sum up how Mindy feels right now.

She can't quite wrap her head around the fact that Danny is gone, because he's the person she wants to be speaking to now most of all. He basically raised his brother, or whatever, she's sure he'd know what to do right now. Mindy's perfectly fine at delivering babies, actually pretty damn good at it, but she's not sure what to do with a five month old.

Thankfully, he seems pretty content sucking on the edge of his blanket, not yet crying in hunger.

Which is awesome, because Mindy has never been pregnant and so her boobs are completely useless to this guy. She needs to go and get formula or a wet nurse or something, but it's so hard to move when she feels all pins and needles, all numb, stuck on the floor of the damn storage closet.

The storage closet. In an OB/GYN clinic. Of course.

She feels really fucking dumb as she starts digging around, searching through boxes of pharmaceutical samples until she comes across a few small tins of formula and nearly cries in relief. How she doesn't cry at this point is honestly a goddamn miracle, but she's suddenly driven by necessity to get this guy somewhere warm and safe and home.

She's not prepared to be a mom, but apparently she is one, so an awkward discussion with Amelia and she's done for the day, headed back to her apartment with her not-so-new son in arms.

He's still napping in a damn printer box when Mindy sends out a mass text to the people who matter to her most (the people who are still in the city, who haven't disappeared in the past handful of days), practically begging.

Danny's gone. Can u come over? There's something else.

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[beyoncepadthai]

Newt's sense of humor would normally be a comfort but right now, Mindy kind of just wants to punch him in the face. Is he kidding? She shoots him a glare that would have more power to it if she didn't look like she was about to burst into tears. "Danny's gone!" she tells him again, and then reaches in to lift a sleeping Leo into her arms. He doesn't even stir. How did she end up with such a content baby when both she and Danny are so neurotic? "And now I have a baby."

[sciencesaggressively]

Okay.

So it's not the kind of gone that implies Danny will be back, which, if he's honest, Newt had understood the second he'd gotten that text. It's just that so many of his friends have suffered the losses of those they love that he can't help but feel like he needs to watch the clock. He could wake up tomorrow to find Kate gone, though he banishes that thought as soon as it enters his mind because there's no way. There's just no fucking way, he'll go to hell and back just to make sure this city doesn't mess with his marriage like that.

The addition of the baby, though, throws him off even more. Sawyer's kid had shown up out of buttfuck nowhere, but Mindy? With a baby? It just looks so... wrong.

Taking a step forward to peer at the baby, Newt runs a hand through his hair, unsure of where to even start. "Are you sure it's yours? I mean... you would be the one to get away with not having to actually be pregnant to get a baby but shit, Mindy, are you sure?"

[beyoncepadthai]

"What do you want me to do, run a DNA test? Call Maury? I'm as freaked out as you are!" Mindy starts to yell but then oh, yeah, the baby, so she softens her tone. "He was just there. And there was this little book, and he just, I don't know... feels like mine."

She leans over to the box to pull out the book, filled with Leo's stats and pictures and other things that will probably bore Newt to death. All evidence of time that they've shared elsewhere. Pictures of Danny and the baby, Mindy and the baby, the three of them. It's so messed up. It isn't fair.

Why isn't he here?

[sciencesaggressively]

Newt narrows his eyes when she suggests the DNA test because, well, he's not sure that'd be a terrible idea, especially considering some rando baby has shown up out of nowhere. What if one of her former patients have decided that Mindy would be a better mom than she could? What if whoever had left the baby for Mindy to find had dropped him off at the wrong place? Shit happens.

But Mindy, ever the prudent doctor, feels like this kid is hers so fine, he doesn't say a word. Until she provides the book she hands him, which she really should have started with in the first place because this is obviously better evidence than just a feeling.

"Damn," he murmurs, mostly to himself, as he flips through the book. There's no lack of sympathy at the sight of the pictures of Danny and Mindy together with the kid, and it isn't right that their kid would drop into her life the second Danny has disappeared; but he knows Mindy. She's strong, stronger than she maybe even gives herself credit for--though she does give herself credit for a lot--and besides, with neighbors like him and Kate, she can't go wrong.

"You're not alone, okay? Just to like, get that sappy shit out of the way, me and Kate will help you however we can. I promise."

[beyoncepadthai]

No amount of help can fill the void that a father leaves, but Mindy nods anyway. She knows Newt means it. And he's used to all kinds of disgusting things, he had sea lice at his wedding, a baby should be a breeze.

"I don't know where to start," Mindy admits with a slight shrug, relaxing a little under the reminder that she's not totally screwed. People like her, mostly, people will be here for her and her squirmy little son. "Like, do I sign him up for preschool? Is it too soon?"

[sciencesaggressively]

"I think preschool is like, two. Two and a half, maybe. Depends on whether the kid's ready for it or not, I guess, but you've got some time before having to come to that decision." Newt had developed a little quicker than the other kiddies so his concept of matching up appropriate ages and grades isn't exactly common; but he also thinks he's right on at least this because at the very least, toddlers probably start competing for the smarts all around the same time.

In truth, he has no idea where to really start, either. Babies aren't his expertise, he's never had to change a diaper, and he has no interest in doing that, either. "Maybe we can like, go find a "How to Mom for Dummies" book or something, is that a thing that exists? Plus, aside from all the baby shit you're going to need to pick up, we're probably going to have to work on finding you a legit babysitter."

[beyoncepadthai]

But Mindy's pretty sure that the waiting lists for those places start at conception, although she's fairly sure Newt won't understand that. He doesn't watch Kiddies and Crowns like Mindy does.

No one does.

"I'm not a dummy," Mindy argues, though it's half-hearted because, yeah, right now she's a fucking idiot. She wishes Gwen was here. She'd known what to do with Riley from day one. "Like a nanny? God, Newt, I can't even look after a tortoise."

[sciencesaggressively]

"Okay, well, I'm pretty sure you'd try harder for a freakin' baby than a tortoise, so that's not really a fair comparison." Newt doesn't really know what it's like to raise a kid but seeing Sawyer turn his shit around and become such a great dad to Clementine makes him think that it has to be possible to go from zero to hero when it comes to parenthood. Maybe it'll take a bit of time, but Mindy's going to have help. She'll probably have better help than he can offer himself but still, she'll have it.

"Look, we'll figure it out, okay? Seriously. It's not like you're fifteen and working at Slothburger, you can do this. Also, you have to, but mostly, you can. Now, all I really know about babies is that they eat and shit, which means we need to get your little guy food and diapers. Probably something to roll him along in, maybe we can make a run to the store and you can jack a shopping cart on the way out."

[beyoncepadthai]

"Are you suggesting my son travel in a shopping cart?!" Mindy demands, and she would be outraged but it's actually really funny, if totally ridiculous, and she starts to grin a little at the visual which makes her heart ache in a weird way.

She's not allowed to be happy today.

She shakes her head, knowing that Newt is right. About the rest of it, not the shopping cart part. "Okay," she says, nodding, then glancing down at Leo. "Alright, we can do that. Food. Diapers. I have... probably enough for the next hour."

How much do five month olds even eat? She's going to have to do so much Googling tonight, which is fine, because even if Leo's the best sleeper ever, Mindy's going to have a hard time closing her eyes.

[sciencesaggressively]

"I mean, it's cheaper than buying an entire stroller. Did you know those things run upwards of like, three hundo? That's fucking crazy, how much mileage do you even really get out of them?"

Maybe he's not an expert on babies, but he's definitely gone baby shopping every now and again, for the sake of appearing to be a good friend. Sure, he'd been dying a little inside during each passing moment of being in the baby department, but he's faced off with kaijus before. He wants to be awesome Uncle Newt, even if it means showing face while shopping for diapers. Plus, he's learned a thing or two. For example, one shouldn't hand a three-month old a crayon because they will choke on it.

"For the next hour," Newt repeats, sighing as he shakes his head. "Think we're going to have to do a little better than that. Can you just like, make him go to sleep so we can shop in peace? That would work so much better for me."

[beyoncepadthai]

How much does Newt think the outfit Mindy is wearing is worth? It's well upwards of three hundo, she's obviously not going to care if she has to shell out that much for a stroller. But she doesn't say that part to Newt, because she's already looking at him like he has at least six heads when he just suggests she makes Leo sleep the entire time. Like it's no big deal, the easiest thing in the world. "Better for you? Oh, I'm sorry I don't have magical powers to put this baby I just met to sleep!"