[November 16th] i think i was blind before i met you

[beyoncepadthai]

Overwhelmed doesn't quite sum up how Mindy feels right now.

She can't quite wrap her head around the fact that Danny is gone, because he's the person she wants to be speaking to now most of all. He basically raised his brother, or whatever, she's sure he'd know what to do right now. Mindy's perfectly fine at delivering babies, actually pretty damn good at it, but she's not sure what to do with a five month old.

Thankfully, he seems pretty content sucking on the edge of his blanket, not yet crying in hunger.

Which is awesome, because Mindy has never been pregnant and so her boobs are completely useless to this guy. She needs to go and get formula or a wet nurse or something, but it's so hard to move when she feels all pins and needles, all numb, stuck on the floor of the damn storage closet.

The storage closet. In an OB/GYN clinic. Of course.

She feels really fucking dumb as she starts digging around, searching through boxes of pharmaceutical samples until she comes across a few small tins of formula and nearly cries in relief. How she doesn't cry at this point is honestly a goddamn miracle, but she's suddenly driven by necessity to get this guy somewhere warm and safe and home.

She's not prepared to be a mom, but apparently she is one, so an awkward discussion with Amelia and she's done for the day, headed back to her apartment with her not-so-new son in arms.

He's still napping in a damn printer box when Mindy sends out a mass text to the people who matter to her most (the people who are still in the city, who haven't disappeared in the past handful of days), practically begging.

Danny's gone. Can u come over? There's something else.

Comments

[sciencesaggressively]

When Newt gets the text, he doesn't think much of it. Mindy doesn't give any specifics, it seems safe enough to assume that when she says Danny's gone, she means that he's out playing basketball with dudes like, eight times his size. It's the part about something else that intrigues him, simply because he's curious in nature, so he tears himself away from dangling Cat over Jeff as bait and takes the three second walk over to Mindy's.

"It's me," he calls out, letting himself in because it's not like she doesn't know he's coming over, and when Newt wanders into the other room, he only spares a quick glance into the box next to Mindy. "Whoa, super lifelike fake baby, is that what you're showing your moms-to-be these days? Gettin' a little too real over here, look at it, moving around and everything. Frickin' terrifying. That better not be what you asked me to come over for, by the way, I was expecting something a lot cooler."

[beyoncepadthai]

Newt's sense of humor would normally be a comfort but right now, Mindy kind of just wants to punch him in the face. Is he kidding? She shoots him a glare that would have more power to it if she didn't look like she was about to burst into tears. "Danny's gone!" she tells him again, and then reaches in to lift a sleeping Leo into her arms. He doesn't even stir. How did she end up with such a content baby when both she and Danny are so neurotic? "And now I have a baby."

[sciencesaggressively]

Okay.

So it's not the kind of gone that implies Danny will be back, which, if he's honest, Newt had understood the second he'd gotten that text. It's just that so many of his friends have suffered the losses of those they love that he can't help but feel like he needs to watch the clock. He could wake up tomorrow to find Kate gone, though he banishes that thought as soon as it enters his mind because there's no way. There's just no fucking way, he'll go to hell and back just to make sure this city doesn't mess with his marriage like that.

The addition of the baby, though, throws him off even more. Sawyer's kid had shown up out of buttfuck nowhere, but Mindy? With a baby? It just looks so... wrong.

Taking a step forward to peer at the baby, Newt runs a hand through his hair, unsure of where to even start. "Are you sure it's yours? I mean... you would be the one to get away with not having to actually be pregnant to get a baby but shit, Mindy, are you sure?"

[beyoncepadthai]

"What do you want me to do, run a DNA test? Call Maury? I'm as freaked out as you are!" Mindy starts to yell but then oh, yeah, the baby, so she softens her tone. "He was just there. And there was this little book, and he just, I don't know... feels like mine."

She leans over to the box to pull out the book, filled with Leo's stats and pictures and other things that will probably bore Newt to death. All evidence of time that they've shared elsewhere. Pictures of Danny and the baby, Mindy and the baby, the three of them. It's so messed up. It isn't fair.

Why isn't he here?

[sciencesaggressively]

Newt narrows his eyes when she suggests the DNA test because, well, he's not sure that'd be a terrible idea, especially considering some rando baby has shown up out of nowhere. What if one of her former patients have decided that Mindy would be a better mom than she could? What if whoever had left the baby for Mindy to find had dropped him off at the wrong place? Shit happens.

But Mindy, ever the prudent doctor, feels like this kid is hers so fine, he doesn't say a word. Until she provides the book she hands him, which she really should have started with in the first place because this is obviously better evidence than just a feeling.

"Damn," he murmurs, mostly to himself, as he flips through the book. There's no lack of sympathy at the sight of the pictures of Danny and Mindy together with the kid, and it isn't right that their kid would drop into her life the second Danny has disappeared; but he knows Mindy. She's strong, stronger than she maybe even gives herself credit for--though she does give herself credit for a lot--and besides, with neighbors like him and Kate, she can't go wrong.

"You're not alone, okay? Just to like, get that sappy shit out of the way, me and Kate will help you however we can. I promise."

[beyoncepadthai]

No amount of help can fill the void that a father leaves, but Mindy nods anyway. She knows Newt means it. And he's used to all kinds of disgusting things, he had sea lice at his wedding, a baby should be a breeze.

"I don't know where to start," Mindy admits with a slight shrug, relaxing a little under the reminder that she's not totally screwed. People like her, mostly, people will be here for her and her squirmy little son. "Like, do I sign him up for preschool? Is it too soon?"

[sciencesaggressively]

"I think preschool is like, two. Two and a half, maybe. Depends on whether the kid's ready for it or not, I guess, but you've got some time before having to come to that decision." Newt had developed a little quicker than the other kiddies so his concept of matching up appropriate ages and grades isn't exactly common; but he also thinks he's right on at least this because at the very least, toddlers probably start competing for the smarts all around the same time.

In truth, he has no idea where to really start, either. Babies aren't his expertise, he's never had to change a diaper, and he has no interest in doing that, either. "Maybe we can like, go find a "How to Mom for Dummies" book or something, is that a thing that exists? Plus, aside from all the baby shit you're going to need to pick up, we're probably going to have to work on finding you a legit babysitter."

[everyonetakes]

In a place like Darrow, as Kate has come to learn, the word gone can mean a whole host of things. It can be gone as if someone's literally left this city, which is probably the worst case scenario, but it can just mean out, too, like Danny's gone out for awhile and they have some privacy because Mindy has something to show her.

Maybe that's a little hopeful, maybe she's being an idiot, but she just sort of wants to believe that everything is okay, even if she has a feeling it's really not.

"Hey," she says, knocking on the door as she lets herself in. Things in general have been weird lately, with Kurt being gone and Kate and Newt suddenly in possession of his cat, but she's just doing her thing, keeping on like everyone is expected to. "So Danny..." But she trails off, not entirely sure what to say.

[beyoncepadthai]

Seeing Kate makes all of this too real, and Mindy feels hot tears forming in her eyes again. She fights them back. Danny being gone isn't even her biggest problem right now. "Like Kurt," she says, and then shakes her head. They were only dating a few months but that's not even the point. They could have never dated and her heart would still be breaking.

Leo stirs in the box beside her and she glances over, not sure what to say. How, exactly, does one announce the arrival of a five month old out of nowhere?

[everyonetakes]

Her first instinct is to make Mindy a drink and she's debating whether or not she wants to go through Mindy's cupboards or dart back across the hall for something when she realizes there's something moving in a box. Glancing over, Kate's jaw almost literally drops, feeling like its suddenly unhinged and for a moment she just stares.

There's a baby in a box. A seriously not newborn baby, so at least it's not likely Mindy just stole it from the hospital or something, which is a big time relief.

"Why is there a baby?" she asks. There's a million things going through her head and she thinks she's supposed to go hug her friend right now, but all she can do is stare. Because there's a baby.

[beyoncepadthai]

"...he just turned up," Mindy says, and she glances over at Leo again and there's that some tug of love she felt the moment she spotted him, even if she has no recollection of conceiving him or carrying him or birthing him. The photos and the notes in the book help, too, of course, but there's something inherent that she feels for him, and she can't put it into words. "I was looking for Danny and... well," she reaches to lift him out, and he fusses a little but then he just stares straight back at Kate. "His name is Leo. He's... mine, I guess."

God, she guesses. This is so messed up.

[everyonetakes]

"But you weren't... you were never... I..." Kate moves her arms in a way that's supposed to indicate a pregnant belly, but she's distracted, staring back at the baby who's looking at her now. Babies are pretty much gross all around, but this one is actually super cute even if she has absolutely no desire to hold him or touch him or change a diaper, but that doesn't make any of it make sense.

"Holy shit," she says and maybe she's supposed to watch her mouth around him, but he's way too young to realize what she's saying. "I mean, holy fucking shit, your baby just appeared?" Other people appear, she supposes it isn't impossible, but it still seems insane.

"Holy shit," she says again.

[beyoncepadthai]

Mindy's pretty sure that there's no show called I Was Carrying A Five Month Old And I Didn't Even Know It, not even in Darrow, and she almost wants to laugh at Kate's gestures but she's too close to crying to risk it.

She has to beg off the crying, for her sake and Leo's. "He came with his baby book," she says, holding him a little closer because somehow it's comforting. It's not a replacement for Danny, obviously, it's so different but it helps, still. She nods at the book, hands too full to lift it. "There are pictures..."

She hasn't even looked at them all. She can't.

[notaretriever]

There's really only one thing that text can mean -- the first part of it anyway -- and for a moment after receiving it, Luke stares down at his phone and feels his heart beating heavily in his chest. Life doesn't always work out as planned, he knows that well enough given everything he's been through, but there are certain things that seem like they should be impossible. Loving someone and losing them like this, losing them physically from a city just shouldn't be the sort of thing they suffer through and yet here they are.

Selfishly, he's grateful Reid is still here and before he leaves, he pauses to press a kiss to Reid's hair, to tell him where he's going and what's happened and that he'll be back later.

The store is closed today and so he locks the door behind him before driving to Mindy's building and pressing the buzzer to be let up. He has no idea what this something else might be, but with his hands in his pockets, he hopes it isn't anything too difficult. If Danny is gone, she doesn't deserve to have anything else piled on her now.

[beyoncepadthai]

The buzzer stirs Leo and when Mindy finally gets to the door, she's trying to soothe a five month old she's never held before. Mindy back home would surely know all the tricks, but Mindy back home would also have Danny, so even thinking about it is kind of pointless.

When she sees Luke she does think, though, about how different things would be if they were still together. But no. He and Spencer are meant to be. She can't think otherwise, and so she just shrugs and shifts Leo to try to make them both more comfortable. "Hi."

[notaretriever]

"Hi," he says, his gaze sliding past the baby to look up at Mindy, almost as if he hasn't seen the infant she's holding, but it takes only a moment and Luke's eyes are drawn back, his gaze suddenly sharpening as he realizes exactly what's going on. Though he doesn't actually realize exactly what's going on, he only knows that Mindy has told him Danny is gone and that she's now currently holding a baby.

"Please tell me you're simply babysitting for someone and this isn't the something else you're referring to," he says as he comes into the apartment and closes the door behind him. "I'm sorry, are you alright? Do you need me to do anything?"

Whether or not this is simply an ill-timed babysitting gig is irrelevant. He's come because she's his friend and he cares for her. That she'd been in love with Danny had been so obvious to him once he'd gotten to know her and now with Danny gone, he can't even imagine how much pain she must be in.

[beyoncepadthai]

Bring Danny back is the only thing Mindy can think to ask for right now, and she's pretty sure that even though Luke is a werewolf he can't do that, so she just shakes her head and tries to fight the panic bubbling up within her.

She needs someone calm and collected who knows how to deal with this, but who the hell is going to be calm when they see Mindy with a baby in her arms? It's disastrous in itself.

"I don't babysit," she says by way of response, and then she just blurts it out: "He's my son."

[notaretriever]

Mindy had never mentioned having a baby, though Luke supposes there might be a good number of reasons for that. The first that springs to mind is that she simply missed him too much, too deeply, and that's something Luke understands. He misses Clary every single day, misses her like he thinks he might miss one of his limbs, but even so, he talks about her. Probably too much.

The second is that she didn't know. The baby looks young enough that it's entirely possible this happened to her after her arrival in Darrow and Luke lets out a long, slow breath, then shakes his head.

"I'm so sorry about Danny," he says finally, taking a step forward and laying his hand on her shoulder. "And what's this little guy's name?"

[beyoncepadthai]

Luke's hand on Mindy's shoulder and his sorry makes the weight of the situation almost too much, and she finds herself blinking back tears. How is it possible Danny was here fighting with her over what counted as colorful barely two days ago and now he's gone?

How is it that she now has a fucking child?

For all of the goodness the city has given her, she hates it right now so damn much. "Leo," she says, then shrugs a little. "Leonardo. Castellano. I guess. I don't... remember him."

She doesn't remember naming him, either, but she likes it anyway. Even if he's probably lost all chance of winning an Oscar now.

[beyondtheblonde]

Elle almost questions it, almost writes back to ask what Mindy means by gone.

It doesn't matter yet, does it? Whatever it is, it's wrong. It's wrong and Mindy needs her, so Elle sets her textbook aside and gets to her feet. On my way, she texts back. She grabs a sweater and Bruiser, and she's out the door, making her way to Mindy's apartment.

There's a nervousness to her as she arrives, an uncertainty. Danny's gone. Is he gone gone? Because if he's gone like boyfriends normally are, then he's getting his ass kicked, but if he's gone, then... Well, then Elle doesn't know what to do. She's taken on so much head on, but she's not sure how to make that better. There's no use worrying, she tells herself, until she knows what she's worrying about. So she takes a deep breath and knocks. "Mindy?"

[beyoncepadthai]

Of course Danny is the person Mindy wants to see most of all, but Elle comes pretty close, too. There's something inherently comforting about her presence, and maybe that's why when Mindy opens the door she's so quick to unfurl, to start to cry again.

It's sure to be quite the sight, Mindy holding a random baby and crying her mascara off, but she finds it hard to care about the impression she's giving. Instead, she just steps aside to let Elle in, resting her chin on the top of Leo's head. Given the circumstances, he's crazy calm. She wishes it would rub off on his mom.

His mom.

[beyondtheblonde]

"Mindy, oh, my god," Elle says, all quiet concern and, truth be told, alarm. She steps in toward her, automatically wrapping an arm around Mindy, careful about the baby she's holding. Why she's got a baby, Elle can't begin to imagine, but that's okay. Her first concern — her only concern — is making sure Mindy's taken care of. Figuring out all the pieces can wait, can happen at whatever pace is best for Mindy.

"Come on, let's go sit down, and then you can tell me what's going on. Tell me how I can help."

[beyoncepadthai]

Mindy has no idea how Elle can help, only that she's glad she's there. The only thing that could really help now would be Danny's return, though Mindy has no idea how she'd get him to wrap his head around the arrival of their son. She'd had a hard enough time when she'd told him about his sister in California.

But none of that matters anymore, because he's gone. Each time she lets herself remember that, there's an ache Mindy can't quite explain. It's so much worse than when she'd found out about Josh and Heather, when she and Casey had ended things. "He's gone," she says, making her way to the couch. Leo sits on her lap contentedly, head against her chest as he eyes Elle curiously. "He left the city."

[beyondtheblonde]

Danny's gone.

It's what Elle feared, but she's barely let herself consider it. All the way over to Mindy's, she pushed the thought away. It's not like she's totally naive or anything. She knows that this happens. People disappear in Darrow as quickly and easily as they arrived, and it's awful and sad and scary. It's too easy to lose people in any world, but it's even more so here, and she doesn't like to think about it if she can help it. She certainly wants to believe it can't happen to her or those she loves, but she knows better than that.

And still it knocks her out, hearing that from Mindy. Looking at her, seeing how much she's hurting, it's impossible to do anything but accept it as absolute truth. This isn't Mindy being dramatic, this is an awful, tragic thing, and Elle, who has so often believed she can do anything, feels suddenly and utterly helpless. She likes Danny. He's a good guy. More importantly, he's Mindy's guy.

"Oh, my gosh," she murmurs, reaching for Mindy's hand. She manages a small smile for the baby, not wanting to upset or panic the little thing, but it's surprisingly hard even to focus on him. "Honey, I am so... I can't believe it. I'm here, okay? Whatever you need, I am here."

[beyoncepadthai]

"I don't know what to do," Mindy says, shoulders lifting into a shrug. Where it Josh or Casey or anyone else, she'd do what she always does. Take a handful of heartache days, order enough food for a small army and listen to the Les Mis soundtrack on repeat.

This isn't that, and there's no way she can take heartache days when a third of her practice just disappeared.

That and, well, the baby. There's basically no time to be sad, but she's pretty sure she's going to, anyway. She'll just have to work around it. In spite of it. She squeezes Elle's hand and closes her eyes for a second, trying to remember how to breathe. "This is Leo," she says slowly. "Danny and my son... apparently."