[Contact] Voicemail + Text

[beyoncepadthai]

 "Hello? Just kidding, it's a machine. Leave a message!"

Comments

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

'sup?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Finally. I thought you'd slipped into a coma. Do you think I'm judgmental?

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

This feels like a trick question.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

How?!

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You're asking me to judge whether you're judgemental! Why?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

I'm asking you to think.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Someone's called me judgmental a few times and so I'm...gathering data.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You're Catholic. It's in your bones.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

What is? Morality? Damn right it is.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Wait, are you saying I AM judgmental??

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You asked! We both are!

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

I am so not judgmental. And if I am, I'm nowhere near as judgmental as you.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You made a noise of disgust at my outfit, like, yesterday. You're judgey, Danny.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

So when I share my opinions I'm "judgey" but when I don't, everyone's like "oh but Danny, Danny, what do you think?" I can't win.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You could win by only offering opinions when they're asked for...

...who told you that you were judgey? The Mormon? Hedwig? Amelia?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Yes.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Wait, all of them?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Yes. But Hedwig most recently. Give it half an hour though.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Are you really that upset about it? People tell me I'm judgmental all the time. We just have high standards of... what other people are doing.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

I'm not upset. It just got me thinking. Hedwig basically told me I make Hedwig feel crappy when I share my opinions of Hedwig. Hedwig called me an asshole for being so judgmental but I don't just say BAD things. I say plenty of nice things about Hedwig. Those are judgments too, right?

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You sound upset.

Yeah, they are. Maybe just... don't say the bad things for a while?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

I'm not, I'm just. Having emotions.

If I say something someone doesn't want to hear, I'm trying to help. Like yesterday with your outfit. You could've forewarned me that I'd need my sunglasses inside the office too.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Sad emotions?

You're trying to help but not everyone wants to be helped, Danny. Or maybe they're things that they're already insecure about and don't want to be reminded about.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

My outfit was flawless, FYI.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

I liked it! I just couldn't see it because I had to keep my eyes closed.