[Contact] Voicemail + Text

[beyoncepadthai]

 "Hello? Just kidding, it's a machine. Leave a message!"

Comments

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You made a noise of disgust at my outfit, like, yesterday. You're judgey, Danny.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

So when I share my opinions I'm "judgey" but when I don't, everyone's like "oh but Danny, Danny, what do you think?" I can't win.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You could win by only offering opinions when they're asked for...

...who told you that you were judgey? The Mormon? Hedwig? Amelia?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Yes.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Wait, all of them?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Yes. But Hedwig most recently. Give it half an hour though.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Are you really that upset about it? People tell me I'm judgmental all the time. We just have high standards of... what other people are doing.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

I'm not upset. It just got me thinking. Hedwig basically told me I make Hedwig feel crappy when I share my opinions of Hedwig. Hedwig called me an asshole for being so judgmental but I don't just say BAD things. I say plenty of nice things about Hedwig. Those are judgments too, right?

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

You sound upset.

Yeah, they are. Maybe just... don't say the bad things for a while?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

I'm not, I'm just. Having emotions.

If I say something someone doesn't want to hear, I'm trying to help. Like yesterday with your outfit. You could've forewarned me that I'd need my sunglasses inside the office too.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Sad emotions?

You're trying to help but not everyone wants to be helped, Danny. Or maybe they're things that they're already insecure about and don't want to be reminded about.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

My outfit was flawless, FYI.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

I liked it! I just couldn't see it because I had to keep my eyes closed.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Just emotions.

You and Hedwig are the least insecure people on the planet.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Alright. We'll examine those later.

Okay, that's not true.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

We really won't.

I don't think I've ever said a truer sentence, Mindy.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Oh, I think we will.

You know that people are confident because they've gotten used to people judging them, right? They're not, like, immune, though. When you say I look like the sun, that's funny. Other stuff, maybe not.

Ugh, this is too deep. I need to watch Space Hospital.

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Like what?

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

Danny, you don't need to worry about judging me. Just maybe think before you judge other people. That's what Jesus said, right? Or one of his friends? Maybe the leper?

[iMessage]

[so_catholic]

Oh boy. Your parents really missed a trick not sending you to Sunday School.

[iMessage]

[beyoncepadthai]

I watched cartoons every Sunday and I'm a doctor. I'm fine.