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Mindy Lahiri ([personal profile] beyoncepadthai) wrote2015-03-18 08:34 am
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Mindy's pretty sure that the fine line between friends with benefits and an actual relationship lies somewhere in spending the night, something she's found herself doing a little more often than not after hooking up with Luke, and something she can't help but think about a lot.

With Brendan, it was much easier. Largely because she'd followed Jeremy's rule of the guy she was having sex with being someone she could barely respect. Sure, she came around to liking him a hell of a lot more when he saved Morgan's life and all, but Luke might just be one of the nicest guys she's ever dated. Or, not dated. Slept with. A lot. And spent the night with. A lot. 

And for a while, it was fine. The sex was amazing – still is amazing, honestly, what would be the point of a casual turned non!casual hookup if the guy was average in bed – and Mindy could delude herself into thinking it was a relationship once in a while. Until, of course, she remembers why she fell into all of this to begin with. Danny, of course, and the plane and the kiss and his refusal to be anything but friends when it was so hard to even get him to be her friend to begin with. It's easy enough to dismiss that, to know he'll never want her like that, but then the letters.

Letters that have come to nothing but leaving her cold and sad on Valentine's Day, feeling like a fucking idiot in her hot, red dress on a boardwalk and basically getting kicked out of a magic show. Still, all of it is so romantic, and so what Mindy's wanted her entire life. It's the escape and excuse she needs, because it would be so easy to be with Luke and she'll never have Danny, maybe this is the bonus option behind door number three: the easiest one, of course, when they've yet to meet.

But nothing is ever that simple, and Mindy's pretty used to being the one that's let down easily instead of it being her job. Casey might have been the only exception, save for dick sports lawyers with coke addictions and five girlfriends in four different cities at the time – beside the point. The thing is, she's still sleeping with Luke and she's still thinking about her secret admirer and it's just not right. But it is easy. And while she's worked her ass off to get to where she is professionally, she's more than a little guilty of taking the easy path when it comes to romance – or not!romance – and never letting things end when they should.

In another world, she's totally married to Tom with his eight babies, she's pretty sure.

But here, she's in Luke's bed all over again, morning light shining in and drenching her in a reality that's conveniently easy to forget at night when it's all skin on skin. Luke's not even around when she turns over and for a moment all Mindy can do is stare at the ceiling, wondering why she couldn't stick to bad relationships with bad men.
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[personal profile] notaretriever 2015-03-22 03:55 pm (UTC)(link)
It hurts, there's certainly no denying that, but he doesn't want Mindy to be upset for him. If there's anything he understands, it's the desire to find something real, something that makes a person feel as if they've found the one place in the world where they truly belong. He can't fault her for that.

"So am I," he says. "But it's alright. We'll both be alright."
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[personal profile] notaretriever 2015-03-23 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Luke nods, then reaches out with his free hand and cups her cheek before he leans in to kiss her. Whatever else is going on in her head, he does like her, he's liked her from the start. So this won't continue and maybe they'll both find the person they're meant to be with, but he doesn't want her to walk away from this thinking she isn't wanted or isn't cared for.

"Alright," he says a moment later, then offers a smile. "You can still invite me to your parties, though. I do enjoy watching Danny with all his wet wipes."
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[personal profile] notaretriever 2015-03-27 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
"Thank you," he says, then smiles at her faintly, and perhaps this is overstepping, but Luke thinks there's probably little he could do now that might worsen the situation. Mindy isn't going to come away from this hating him, just as he isn't going to walk away hating her.

But he can say this. Because he means it.

"Whoever they are, I hope they come to their senses soon enough." Over the past several weeks, he's begun to cultivate some ideas, but he doesn't know how accurate they are. Whatever the case, he does hope this for her. She deserves that.
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[personal profile] notaretriever 2015-03-29 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
He thinks of Jocelyn then, thinks of the way he'd been with her for such a long time without expecting anything, just being with her because he couldn't stand the thought of not seeing her every day.

He wants to try, but the truth is that he doesn't know if he'll ever find someone to be with. Not in the way he wants.

But instead of saying that, he smiles. "I hope so, too," he says.